And this weather? This is making people sweat. And stink. And puke.
Well, it's not making THEM puke, it's making me want to vomit because I'm locked in line with them. (and all the while they have no idea they smell...how IS that, I wonder?)
It's not really even the heat, it's the humidity.
It plays havoc with my hair, my clothes, my make-up. It does, however, give me a dewy glow that those young girls have, so I guess I have that going for me.
But when you get out of the shower and as you dry your hair you can feel that sweat dripping down your rib cage from your breasts? (you know what I'm talking about ladies...) That is just wrong. I've not even gotten dressed yet, for God's sake!
I live in a house that has tons of charm. Built in 1905, they don't make them like this anymore. I suppose you could have them made, but it would cost a fortune. The problem with said charming old house is that it is fixed with water radiator heat. Which is good in the winter, because it doesn't dry out your skin and it's rather affordable to heat the house in today's market.
The downside of having this old house is that because of the radiator heat, it cannot be fitted for central air...
I DID have someone come out that works on old houses such as mine. But the quote he gave me to put in central air could make a nice down payment on a home that already has it. So every summer, there about 2 to 3 weeks where I just want to check into the Ritz-Carlton until the humidity and heat have passed. Or buy a new house.
I guess I should stop complaining though. It HAS been a rather mild summer thus far. We've only hit the 90's once or twice as compared to some of the summers of past years when we would have week or months in the 90's and 100's. The people out west are getting hit hard with temperatures in the triple digits, so I should keep my mouth shut, since I'm sure that is all probably coming my way. Soon.
But standing in line at the grocery store today put me over the edge with the smelly guy in front on me. I was a swimmer, so I'm able to hold my breath for some time. But there was no getting away from the stank odor emanating from this poor bastards body. Something inside of me thought I should run over to Isle 2 and pick him up some body wash. And deodorant. And maybe a new T-shirt to boot. I'd be happy to foot the bill...
It'd be my way of paying it forward into the world. It'd help one less person have to deal with the odoriferous horror that I did for that short period of time today. It seemed an eternity. I was wondering if Isle 10 had any gas masks in stock.
But I didn't.
I would just step back a foot or two, take a deep breath and try to hold it as long as possible.
I was praying to the checkout Gods that there wouldn't be the need for any price-checks or coupon delays...
My lungs got some good exercise though.
Which is good. Because in this heat...there ain't no way I'm getting on the treadmill.
I hate to sweat. Or perspire. Or whatever you want to call it.
If I did, I'd be a size 2.