My day could end right now...and I'd be satisfied.
I went to bed last night so completely exhausted I couldn't hardly think straight. Too many nights in a row with irregular sleep patterns, not getting the proper nutrition, the never ending nagging of responsibility beyond my capabilities....all these things PLUS the added personal stresses of dealing with my mother in the hospital and my recent change in relationship status. It's the proverbial 'burning the candle at both ends'. I'm beat. Wiped out. Nothing left.
And I can feel myself starting to get sick.
I don't get sick all that often. But when I do....I DO. I don't like being sick. Not that anyone does...but I'm the caregiver. So if I get sick...there isn't anyone to care for me. AND just because I'M sick doesn't alleviate the household responsibilities. Who will feed the two dogs, the two cats, the two hamsters and the fish while I'm laid up in bed. Who will make sure that my daughter gets fed and cared for. We won't even go into the other daily routines that HAVE to be done in order for the house to run.
When I get sick...it's usually for days. So I try very hard to NOT get sick. But I am SOOOOO tired, I can feel it coming on. And I'm dreading it......
So I crawl...no drag myself into bed last night. I normally fall asleep pretty quickly. But when you are this tired you yearn for sleep, which of course, makes it not happen quite so easily. I turned on my heating pad, which always helps and I can feel I'm on the verge of sleep. Right then my next door neighbors pull raucously into the driveway. When they opened their car door I could have sworn that my own stereo was on and set at level 8 of 10....
My street is composed of mostly single family homes. However there are a few stuck in here and there that are multiple family homes. Unfortunately, there are some people that live in these rental units that don't have that sense of ownership...they just live here. They just don't care. My neighbors may be nice enough people, but over the last year that they have lived in the house no one has ever spoken with them. We are a pretty close knit neighborhood...we have block parties and go Christmas caroling on Christmas Eve. There is a group of us that get together at Halloween for a pumpkin carving day/barbecue. We do bonfires and Fourth of July parades. So for people to live on our street and no one has talked with them?...it's not the ordinary.
When out doing yard work, they have pulled into their drive and I've waved. Once or twice I've gotten a slight wave back. But that's about it. They drive in, get out of their car and go inside. When they come outside, they get in their car and drive away. The girl that owns the house is never there. I've seen her maybe 6 times in the last year...so the upper unit is basically uninhabited. I'm not sure what the couple that live downstairs do for work...but one of them leaves at 5am every morning. When they go out at night, they usually return around 2 or 3...with the music blaring. Then they go inside and start whatever it is they do. Sometimes it's watching movies in surround sound or playing the same song over and over at high decibels. Last night it was plinking away at their guitar. It was horrible....until about 3am.
I thought, "You have got to be kidding me.........".
I thought about walking over there last night knocking on the door and showing them the dark circles under my eyes to prove that I needed some sleep. I thought maybe I could cough on them to show them that I was starting to get a cold. I thought I should call the non-emergency police number and have THEM go over to tell them to 'step away from the guitar'. But I didn't do any of those. For some reason my anger at them is what comforted me into this deep deep sleep.....
And when I awoke this morning I had both dogs on the bed with me, one cat on my pillow and the other over by the stairs. My daughter had crawled into bed with me at some point during the night and it was lightly snowing outside making everything look clean and fresh.
I'm not quite as rested as I'd like to be. I'm already planning a nap sometime during the day. But right now? Everything is right with the world. My day is complete.
I should pull out my chainsaw this morning and give my neighbors a helping of 'inconsiderate neighborly behaviour', or perhaps my leaf blower whining insistently would ease them from their slumber. I could borrow another neighbors chipper/shredder that makes such a racket to wake the dead. That would be rather poetic.
Maybe I should break in and steal that damn guitar while they are currently sleeping....
That might help in getting some future nights well deserved rest.