Got your email. It sounds like your really booked up. Let me give you my approach to these things and you can see what works for you. Typically people over 40 have especially demanding schedules or at the minimum they require a lot of time in order to do the things they have put in place. I am that way. If you want to do any dating, I have found it to be a pain in the ass for the most part. Typically I find myself "squeezing" things in only to be not that enthused with the result. So, I can appreciate your alignment of priorities etc.
My philosophy today is that I typically skip the emails, the making plans and the talking on the phone unless I think there might be at least something interesting going on. If I do think there is something interesting going on, I will at least try to establish enough communication to get us to a meeting or a date. Once that happens, the rest is usually self evident. I don't mind busy schedules, especially once I have established the fact that the person is someone I am kind of interested in getting to know.
If you think it is worth trying to connect, then lets talk on the phone first and see if that warrants a translation into a face to face. If not, then thats totally OK too and I understand how things go. So, let me know what you think and we can figure out a good time to talk, or let me know if you think you just cant swing it right now. Either way, I will understand.
You know, I got your e-mail and have given it much thought.
One of the things about my joining eHarmony was to meet someone and be completely honest. In my responses, in my choices.
And although I understand your wanting to 'cut to the chase' and be prudent with your time...it sounds as if you've been down this road of meeting people and them not quite adding up to your expectations.
I appreciate that.
But in the same regard, your completely straightforward approach in skipping any e-mail 'conversations', get down to the basics and then see if we should meet...it just takes the mystique out of the dating experience and makes it more of a business arrangement. At least for me...
I'm new to eHarmony, so I've not been through perhaps the same processes as you have. It sounds as if you have pursued other people to be disappointed. I'm not at that stage yet. Like I said, I'm a newbie. My knee jerk reaction from your e-mail is, "I don't know..."
Yes, schedules are tight this time of year, but I don't want to be someone to 'squeeze in' to anyones planner. Your message makes me feel as if I don't already add up and not worth your time. And I don't even know you...
So I wish you luck in your search. I guess we are approaching meeting someone special differently.
I hope you have a wonderful Holiday Season!
And then immediately get a *bing* on my phone for an incoming e-mail. I open it to get this...
Actually, I appreciate your analysis but in fact, the idea of being disappointed after meeting people has nothing to do with my prudence. The long and short of it is that I believe that two adults who have lived 40+ years of life each should be able to step up and share a conversation. If you think that meeting someone online is going to add "mystery" to the experience, get ready to be disappointed. Relationships require effort, end of story, this is nothing to do with the processes of Eharmony, this has to do with my experience in life. You can imagine anything you want, but until you talk with someone, meet someone and get to know someone, you will never know that someone. When someone tells me that they are too busy to pick up a phone until next week, I just have to question the fact that either they are the most busy person alive and have no time to date, or dating is way down on their priority list of things to do, or they have some paranoia or pre-concieved notions about dating and they have this need to go through 2 weeks of emails, followed by 4 phone conversations, followed by 2 meetings for coffee, followed by a lunch date, followed by a dinner date... I just don't have time or energy to figure it all out. I think humans were meant to speak to each other.
You've got to be kidding. Right? Didn't he just send me a note that he doesn't 'do e-mails'? How do I know who this person is and if I give them my number that they aren't going to track me down and kill me while I sleep. I mean, I don't even know this guy. Seriously. How would I know whether I want to meet with him if he won't put forth the effort to communicate? And then send me a note saying that humans should communicate? Did he or did he not just contradict himself.
Bah. I happened to be with Christine, my current BFF and she helped guide me through the quagmire of 'respond or don't respond'.
"Fuck him. What a dick.", she quickly responded.
"I know! Isn't that odd?"
I didn't respond. I just pushed the 'close match' button conveniently located. Seriously. If we couldn't get beyond two e-mails exchanges what possible future would we have? THAT match ain't goin' nowhere...
But I did get a lovely Christmas wish from a guy in Avon who wished me a "Merry Christmas, beautiful Nancy". He's a lawyer. My dad wouldn't be altogether pleased with his choice of professions, he thinks the best place for lawyers is 6 feet under. But if they are part of the family...well, wouldn't I get free service?
Christine...Damn girl, get your head out of the gutter. Free advice, darlin'. THAT's what I was talking about!
Ah. Memories. It's like being back in the ol' Flamingo Club days...
it's always someone else's legs up in the air.
Happy New Year, my friends! I will see you in 2010 after the Blue Moon.