Sunday, January 25, 2009



"Look for something, find something else, and realize that what you've found is more suited to your needs than what you thought you were looking for." Lawrence Block

I'm resistant to change. I like to think myself as adventurous...or at least I once was. But I've become kind of grounded, if you know what I mean.

I've always been the ultimate optimist and quite logical to boot. I have continued to be that through the years, no matter what barriers arise...I will always be that, a positive thinker. There are things that pop up and get in my way, events that happen to slow down my progress, things that make me unhappy. But I usually find a way to 'make it work', or 'make it right'...for me.

For instance, as you know (if you've read the earlier two blog posts) I just split from my significant other of 5 years. Big change. I don't like change. BUT...once I get my proverbial arms around it, my mind kicks into 'make it work' mode, and then; voila!...I'm okay with it.

Now, I'm not going to say that at present I'm perfectly fine...but I'm not going to allow myself to wallow in this. Depression is not an option. I don't have the time or patience for that. I did that once when I when I got divorced from my husband of eleven years...not gonna go back there, ever, if I can help it. However, that was a whole different ballgame.

Last night I was hanging out with my daughter (whose positive mojo has a healing effect all of it's own....LOVE HER!) and I started to cry after passing his area of the dressing room.

My house is a tall three story affair built in 1905. Four bedrooms on the second floor and the third floor is a spacious master suite; complete with bath and dressing room. My previous husband and I bought this house. We didn't have children at the time, so there was quite a bit of room to spread out. My husband had the entire dressing room and bath upstairs for his things. He had a lot of clothes and it worked out just fine. On the second floor, I converted one of the bedrooms into my own walk in closet, another bedroom as my office and I used the larger bath on that level for my own spread of stuff. When he and I split the third floor looked vacant. But I went into 'make it work' mode and transferred all MY clothes up to that larger, more spacious dressing area...and was pleased. Yeah, that's about all it took to start on the path of healing. It took a little time, but I was definitely on the right road.

Last night as I passed the empty area up there that is now cleared out (as I had shared my space this time), I had a twinge of self-pity; hung my head and cried. My daughter came in, hugged me and said, "mommy, it's going to be just fine". And she's right. It is. I am. We are.

So today I start filling the void of the empty closet, spreading some of my more cramped clothes into the space that HAD been mine, that I had shared, and now is gone. He made a couple of trips yesterday taking his things to his new apartment. He said, "You need a man, not a boy trying to BE a man." I found the thought rather poignant. If there's a void...we fill it. It's all in how we make it work. It's all in how we heal. that word. It works for me. It makes me feel good. It lets me know at all times that there is something else out there. How cool is that.

And how serendipitously? It comes in the dictionary right before serene - to be free and clear of storms or unpleasant change.

Now THAT, my friends, is true serendipity.


Do it. Do it NOW!